Why are we scared of change when it can be good for us?

Having a routine is comforting. We know what to expect and it feels safe. A colleague/friend of my friend once called me “predictable,” and at first, I was kind of offended. We laughed about it later because, deep down, I knew she was right. Even though I like the idea of being adventurous and spontaneous, the truth is, I enjoy having a routine with not too many surprises.

I’m bringing up routines and predictability because they make us feel safe. Humans like stability and knowing what’s coming. The opposite is instability or unpredictability, and I don’t think anyone looks forward to their day or life being thrown off track. When things get shaky, we tend to think of worst-case scenarios and start a long mental list of everything that can go wrong the moment we feel the ground become a little unsteady.

But, maybe that list of worst cases turns out to actually be helpful. Think of it as a starting point. Let’s toss the bad junk out so we can make room for the good stuff! A good visual for me is a pros/cons list – like a T chart. On the right side, we write down everything that could go wrong or why something won’t work. Once that’s out of our heads and on paper, we can challenge ourselves to think about the positive things that could come out of the situation and list those on the left side. It may not be easy, but it’s worth a try. Hey, we don’t know for sure which way it will go…it could work out! Unfortunately, those magic 8 balls from our childhood don’t work (dang it).

I think some people are hesitant to venture down the road of getting a coach. They worry it might shake things up, bring about change, and that means a period of uncertainty and maybe a bit of instability. My guess is it’s probably not their first thought but it’s a deeper concern once you peel back the layers.

This triggered me to make a pros/cons list of working with a coach (but I flipped it for this example).

I don’t really know what a coach does. What if I don’t like them and we don’t connect?I am resourceful and can research coaches online. I can ask friends/family/colleagues, too. It would be great to have a neutral person to converse with. Many coaches provide a complimentary discovery/chemistry call for me to assess the connection before jumping in. 
Coaches are expensive.In certain aspects of my life, I affirm my self-worth, such as indulging in facials and Botox treatments. While these enhance my external appearance, they don’t contribute to my inner well-being.
I don’t want to rock the boat. My life isn’t exactly how I expected it to be but I’m managing.What if it leads to positive changes and growth? Being open to change can lead to a more fulfilling and rewarding life. I’ve done things in the past that I was uncertain about and they turned out great, I trust myself.

So the big question is, you complain about your life/job/etc…

But are you really willing to make a change?

Change is scary. I get it. I stayed in a job for a long time because it was comfortable, familiar, and I knew it inside out. But it was also not fulfilling anymore, and it was affecting other parts of my life.

My coach helped me:

  1. Get very clear on what I want in life
  2. Break old, limiting beliefs
  3. Visualize my future

You can’t force a change on someone, and most of us resist if someone tries. If you’re like me, you’re probably overthinking and asking yourself, ‘Is now the right time?’ You’ll know when the time is right to get the help and support you need.

I’ll leave you with a few questions:

Do you want something more?

What do you want your life to look like in 5 years?

Where do you want to see Future You in 30 years?

Are you on the right track, headed in the right direction to get there?

What beliefs are you holding onto that may not be serving you anymore?

Let's Dive Deeper

My Story

Bonney's Picks